Written By: Carly
Insecurities stem from fear. Everybody has fears – my social anxiety stems from fear of conflict, fear of being taken advantage of, fear of rejection, issues with guilt... and I know I'm no special case. "Anxiety" has become a buzzword in recent years and there's been a much-needed shift of focus to mental health. A quick Google search will give you 101 ways to deal with daily anxiety. To save you some trial and error, here's what works for me - it's about control. Accept in your mind that we can control maybe 25% of daily events in our lives. The other 75% is arguably out of our hands. That 25% that you control includes but is not limited to, people you surround yourself with and your physical environment.
It is OK to be very specific about your environment – I give myself a pass to be snobby when it comes to what and who I'm surrounded by – I appeal to my five senses – I love having a peaceful visually stimulating safe environment. My home is my safe haven. It smells good, it sounds good, and it's beautiful. I'm either alone or with people I love and care for deeply. These are the ingredients to a warm environment.
Friendship is a huge part of this. Having amazing friends is no easy feat and I've had to treat them like being in a relationship. My friends I've worked for and cultivated for years – I trust them, love them, and actively care for them. Much of my social anxiety diminished when I listen to my intuition on people and paid attention to my first impressions… A tough reality I had to face recently is not everybody cares for you. When you find those who do – protect them, love them, and work to maintain a relationship with them.
This is been the root of conquering my insecurities. It's an uphill battle and it doesn't go away but it definitely gets easier. Control what you can and let the rest go. Be tough out there xoxo